By Octavio R., Davis Shields (now Columbia Explorers Academy)
Dialogues That's Weird, Grandma
There was once a game show called U Can’t Win. The game show host was called Dorito and his assistant was named Elmo. He was the one who escorted the people out of the stage. The contestants were Al Gore, a woman named Helga and Pete construction worker.
Dorito: Welcome to your favorite show U Can’t Win. Our contestants today are Al Gore, Helga and Pete construction worker. Our first question is for Helga. Here is the question. How many shoes?
Helga: What is the rest of the question?
Dorito: That’s the question.
Helga: OK. 7.
Dorito: Sorry the answer is 9 because U Can’t Win! (audience cheering) Our next question is for Pete construction worker. The question is, in Alaska the snow is…
Pete: That’s easy the answer is meatloaf.
Dorito: Sorry, the answer is meatloaf.
Pete: That’s what I said.
Dorito: Sorry but I didn’t hear you because U Can’t Win (audience cheering).
Pete: Dis is not fair.
(He attacks Dorito. Elmo comes out and takes Pete off stage. And he says Elmo knows where you live.)
Pete: I’ll be back.
Dorito: Pete construction worker and Helga have been disqualified. Al Gore you have been chosen to go into super sudden death. You’re gonna have to eat 300 meatballs in ten seconds (audience cheering).
Al Gore: I sure do love meatballs.
(Dorito starts counting sown, when he reached 3 Al Gore says he’s finished)
Dorito: Sorry, that was 303 meatballs cause U Can’t Win.
Al Gore: I demand a recount.
(Helga comes out a grabs Dorito and throws him to the audience and he yells U Can’t Win.)
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By Brianna H., Harold Washington Elementary
That's Weird, Grandma
Once upon a time blablabla look let me get to the point. Once a long time ago in the projects lived a boy named Homeo. He was born in a tub. When he meet Julilet aka Rulilet (because she was always in charge) he was twenty years old with a big affour. It was year 2002. Julilet lived in the suburbs with her dad. One day at a club they meet. They were in love. But her father Prince Anthony would not let her. So one night they tried to get away but someone who worked for Prince Anthony, his name was Knight Kevin. He gave cherry Kool-Aid which she is allergic to, cherries. So she laid down on the table and she was asleep. And in walked in Homeo and said oh well. The end!!!
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By Lawrence H, Chalmers
That's Weird, Grandma Other Venues Storefront 2002
Once upon a time there was two old mens. Their name was Tim and Mike. So one man was in a wheelchair and one man was standing up. So they were practicing Karate. Then the man that was standing asked the man that was sitting in a wheelchair do he want to play fighting. So they played fighting and the man that was standing up beat the man that was in the wheelchair. Then Mike asked Tim when he was born he said February 1st. Then they start to argue because Mike wouldn’t tell him when was his birthday. So they start to fight. Then they said they is sorry.
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By Imani G., Brenneman
Songs What Part of Don't Sing... That's Weird, Grandma Other Venues TOTL 2005
Ones upon a time it was a big funny bunny who lived in a tree but he did not have a house that have a roof on top just like all the house but he had a house with leaves on it. That funny bunny did not know what to do he just clap his hands ten times 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 He stop then he said I am the smart funny bunny in the house but he was talking to his self. Then the snake came and said, you is not the smart funny bunny in this house I am the smart snake in the house. So the snake clap hiss hands ten times 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 So the funny bunny said, you so silly How come you the funny snake in your family said the funny bunny. The funny bunny and snake friends came and it was bo-bo, frog, fish-fish, bird, dog, cat and thetwo silly willy's. And all the animals had a great time but the the two silly willy's just said something, I am smart funny bunny, then all the animals start again 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 They all said, Silly Willy.
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By Joshua F., Brenneman School
True Stories That's Weird, Grandma
One day I went to church. My grandma took some tuna.
She ate it in the cab. I said it doesn't smell so
good. My grandma said your very funny. I said no I'm
not. I said you is very old and you smell so good.
She said you doesn't smell good. I said you is very
very nice. I said I have to throw up. She said stop
playing so much. I said whatever. BE HAPPY!! THE END
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