Three Delicious Arguments From “That’s Weird, Grandma: Stories About Food”

Posted by Gavin on August 3, 2018

That's Weird Grandma

Barrel of Monkeys spends one day of each creative writing residency teaching students to write persuasive arguments. Students choose something they’re either for or against, and then they identify three compelling reasons to support that position.

Our students love writing food-related persuasive arguments, and we’ve adapted many of them into songs and sketches over our twenty-one years. Here are three that director Joseph Schupbach chose for our current production at the Neo-Futurists Theater, That’s Weird, Grandma: Stories About Food.

1. “I Believe That Everything Should be Chocolate” by Luis M., Seward School

Like many of us, Luis loves chocolate - and they’re adamant that everything from your house to your homework should be made of it. Barrel of Monkeys company member Laura McKenzie adapted this song into a soulful musical number, capturing just how amazing a world filled with chocolate would be.

Barrel of Monkeys ensemble members performing as donuts during That's Weird, Grandma

I believe that everything needs to be chocolate. My first reason is that you need to have chocolate because you could eat your house. My second reason is that you could eat everything instead of buying it. My final reason is that you could eat you homework and your teacher wouldn’t know what color is your paper. That is why you need to have chocolate.

2. “Buffalo Joe’s Argument” by Jamari J., Dawes Elementary School

We all have a favorite local restaurant, and Jamari’s is Buffalo Joe’s. They argue that feeding kids more Buffalo Joe’s barbecue wings and seasoned fries will help them do their homework and chores - even if it turns them into barbecue-addicted, zombie-like people.

Barrel of Monkeys ensemble members putting Buffalo Joes buckets on their head during a performance of That's Weird, Grandma

I believe people should buy more buffalo joe’s to eat so they can have more juicy (drewling)
Delicious bbq chicken and seasoned fries and when they get their juicy (drewling) delicious buffalo joe’s they can just give it to their kids, then the kids can go to their room and watch tv or play video games and then when their done they can go ask their parents to buy some more juicy (drewling) delicious buffalo joe’s. And when they get they are going to get good grades, behave, cut the grass, and wash the dishes, and also wash their laundry. And then they will freak out. And they will freak out because they’ll get more buffalo joe’s then they’ll had more then they had before. THE END.

3. “Chitterlings” by Samuel B., Harold Washington Elementary

Not all of our students argue for more of a specific type of food. In fact, some argue that we should avoid a certain dish.

For example, Samuel at Harold Washington Elementary wrote a persuasive argument condemning chitterlings. We adapted his disgust for pig intestines - and all pork save for pepperoni - into a slow, rolling song that’s a That’s Weird, Grandma audience favorite.

Barrel of Monkeys ensemble members performing

I believe nobody should not eat chitterlings. 1st because, they’re yucky pig intestines. 2nd because, it is where the poop goes. 3rd because, they eat mud. 4th because, they are pork and I can’t eat pork, except for pepperoni.

See our adaptations of these pieces, as well as other food-related stories by Chicago elementary school students, at our next performance of That’s Weird, Grandma: Stories About Food on Monday night. The fun starts at 8, and we can’t wait to share this batch of sketches and songs with you! 

Purchase your tickets ahead of time here.

 

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