that's werid, grandma audience member

Thanks to everyone who took advantage of our Monkey Wrench promotional package this fall. Check back soon for more special That’s Weird, Grandma offers!

In the meantime, you can purchase tickets to our annual musical round - That’s Weird, Grandma: Stories That Sing and Dance - here.

The Serious Day

By Diante P. and Miles B., Learn Elementary School, Campbell Campus

Characters: Diante (Werewolf) and Michael (the Dad)
Setting: The Woods

Michael: (Serious) Son go and hunt some food.
Diante: (Scratching his ear) Dad I can’t I’m gonna get hurt.
Michael: (Mad) Son you’re not going to get hurt.
Diante: (Crying) All right Dad.
Michael: (happy) Now go out there son and hunt some deer.
Diante: (Dead) Heeeeeellp Dad!!!!!
Michael: (running) (Crying) I’m sorry son! I will always love you.

The End.

U Can’t Win

By Octavio R., Columbia Explorers Academy

There was once a game show called U Can’t Win. The game show host was called Dorito and his assistant was named Elmo. He was the one who escorted the people out of the stage. The contestants were Al Gore, a woman named Helga and Pete construction worker.
Dorito: Welcome to your favorite show U Can’t Win. Our contestants today are Al Gore, Helga and Pete construction worker. Our first question is for Helga. Here is the question. How many shoes?
Helga: What is the rest of the question?
Dorito: That’s the question.
Helga: OK. 7.
Dorito: Sorry the answer is 9 because U Can’t Win! (audience cheering) Our next question is for Pete construction worker. The question is, in Alaska the snow is…
Pete: That’s easy the answer is meatloaf.
Dorito: Sorry, the answer is meatloaf.
Pete: That’s what I said.
Dorito: Sorry but I didn’t hear you because U Can’t Win (audience cheering).
Pete: Dis is not fair.
(He attacks Dorito. Elmo comes out and takes Pete off stage. And he says Elmo knows
where you live.)
Pete: I’ll be back.
Dorito: Pete construction worker and Helga have been disqualified. Al Gore you havebeen chosen to go into super sudden death. You’re gonna have to eat 300 meatballs in ten seconds (audience cheering).
Al Gore: I sure do love meatballs.
(Dorito starts counting sown, when he reached 3 Al Gore says he’s finished)
Dorito: Sorry, that was 303 meatballs cause U Can’t Win.
Al Gore: I demand a recount.
(Helga comes out a grabs Dorito and throws him to the audience and he yells U Can’t
Win.)

The End.

Mr. Potatohead at War!

By Cristian O. and Antonio S., Lorca Elementary School

Characters: Potatohead, Son, Soldiers, and Russian Soldier
Setting: Russian War

MP: (he is walking) Aaah fresh air.
S: (guns shooting) we need reinforcements.
MP: (scared) wha-what’s going on here.
S: (solider sees Mr. Potatohead) He says get out of her cause you are going to die or get hurt!
M.P.: My son is where the Russian soldiers are man that I don’t know.
S: (screaming) hurry up bring more tanks there is a potato civilian in enemy building!
M.P.: (sad) give me my son or I am going in to get him.
S: All right all right we are going to get your son!
M.P.: Oh my goddnes I am going to bet my son!
Hours later
R.S.(talking to a radio) hurry bring our tanks and choppers. (R.S. dies)
S: (throws grenade) Hurry move it.

The End.

Pirate Time/Creepzy Queen Victoria!

By Sofia V., Loyola Park After-School Program

Once there was a girl named Sofia. She found a time traveling train and got on and started to drive. She passed every time period she could imagine. The first life on earth, then the dinosaurs, sometime after came ancient Egypt, then sometime after that came the civil war, and so on. She made a stop in the middle of the ocean. Why? She was waiting for a pirate ship! (duh!) soon some pirates appeared. Well, I wouldn’t say “appeared” because they didn’t just pop out of nowhere! She secretly snuck onboard and blended in with the crew. She spent about 3 hours there before she wanted to leave on the train. She said goodbye to her pirate friends. Next she traveled to Queen Victoria’s time. A sign was down at the docks. “Queen Victoria welcomes you to London!” it said. Then it slipped around and the sign was covered with fire there was a picture of Queen Victoria holding knives. It now read unless you’re a pirate! I guess it’s time to go! Bye! She got back on the train and drove home. THE END.

The Darkness

By Donachie C., Loyola Park After-School Program

In the cave of darkness. Donald Trump was talking to a bear. And then nothing. The bear scratched Donald Trump’s face off. And then ate his bones. And then he ate the blood and skin for dinner. Then Donald Trump has his death. THE END.

The Ten Diamonds and Sisters

By Michelle A., Johnson School of Excellence

One day ten sister went for a walk in the woods with their very long hair. Their mom said wear your sweater and don’t talk to strangers or they will take advantage of you and what you do. So when you go to the beach be with each other and never talk to each other and don’t take out your diamonds and keep them in your jacket or someone will go in it. But if you go in the water put it in you bathing suit and if you let them get taken then I can’t trust you with another one so keep it with you at all time so keep it with you ok and you will be safe. At 10:00 come home for dinner and if you don’t you all will be on punishment until you move from me so don’t disappoint me and keep you peace together. THE END.

Dear Government

By Shimirra S., Morton School of Excellence

Dear government, I think you should be fair with dance teams because of many reasons. 1 Reason is that when the dance teams compete and one team win, it makes the other team feel very sad. 2nd reason, most dance teams use props and it’s not fair to others. 3rd reason, because most dance teams have their coach dance with them and it is not fair. In conclusion: I think all dance teams should win something for all their hard work. THE END.

TROLLISH

By Grant G., 3rd Grade, Skinner North Classical School

Trollolololololololoolololololoolololololoolololololoolololololoolololololoolololololoololoolololololoolo
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loloolololololoolololololoolololololoololoolololololoolololololoolololololoololoolololololoolololololoolo
lolololoololoolololololoolololololoolololololoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Problem? Problem? Problem? Problem? Problem? Problem? Problem? Problem? Problem? Problem?
Problem, human? Problem? Problem? Problem?
Prooooooooooooooooooblem? Eeheheheheheh! You mad?
The End.

Cousin Problems

By Tedy Z., Morton School of Excellence

Once upon a time I was in a different country with my cousin. She ate a lot of candy me and her. When she was going up stairs to her dad’s house she ran as fast as she could and she fell down the stairs and at the bottom hit her chin. Blood everywhere. She had to go to the doctor so me, her mom, and her went to the Doctor and they put stitches on her chin I heard screaming when I was outside the room. I was scared but when she came out I was happy nothing bad happened. The lesson is don’t eat a lot of candy and run up the stairs.
THE END.

UNTITLED (OMG I Found My Sister’s Friend)

By Jasmine H., West Pullman Elementary School
That's Weird, Grandma

Oh my god
I found my sister’s friend.
I’m holding
my girlfriends hand.
“Oh my.”
My friend said, “I can see a dead man’s head.”
I see a blond woman and she is coming.
I can hear
a clowns laughter, and he is fatter.
WE are
at a new years eve party
and we are
Drinking Bacardi.
The countdown is just getting started
and my friend is having a ball.
THE END.